Fatherhood

Father’s Day
Perry Duggar

June 19, 2022

I. Introduction: Good morning and welcome to Father’s Day at Brookwood!

A. Theme: 1 Thessalonians 2:11 (NLT)— And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children.

1. Paul compared his treatment of young believers in a church he founded to the way a father treats his children because he felt responsible for their guidance and well-being.
2. This morning we will reflect on some of the most important responsibilities of fathers.
3. Several verses on our outline refer to our relationship with God because He is our Father in heaven and provides a perfect model for earthly fathers to emulate.

II. A father’s responsibilities:

Our first role is to be our children’s…

A. 1. Provider. (Luke 12:29-32; 2 Corinthians 12:14; Philippians 4:19-20; 1 Timothy 5:8)

1. God provides for us all: Luke 12:29–31 (NLT)— ²⁹ “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. ³⁰ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. ³¹ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need. [The theme of that passage is that we don’t need to worry because our Father is aware.]
2. In a similar way, children should be able to relax and rely on their earthly fathers to supply all the physical support that they need.
3. 2 Corinthians 12:14 (NLT)—… After all, children don’t provide for their parents. Rather, parents provide for their children.
4. Fathers have the primary responsibility of supporting their families financially by providing essentials such as food, clothing, housing, transportation, education and medical care; plus sometimes, a few wants as well, like a vacation or a new bicycle.
5. We must be wise in our roles as providers, however, or we will confuse needs and wants, which could result in both parents working demanding jobs to afford luxuries such as a bigger house, newer cars, or more lavish vacations.
6. Two exhausted parents at home every evening is not the best environment for nurturing children—and children need meaningful connection more than a higher living standard.
7. Every child also needs emotional support and intimacy from his father.
8. A father’s attention, affirmation and approval, expressed through appropriate physical and verbal responses, helps his children feel secure, competent, valuable, admirable and accepted in this world.
9. A lack of physical and verbal affirmation from fathers—or worse, a continuous flow of criticism—produces insecurity in a child which will be expressed through discouragement or drivenness, throughout the child’s life.
10. Fathers have great influence over the self-identity of a child, including their gender identity; confusion in these areas results from some lie they have believed about themselves through interactions with others (especially significant others like parents).
11. Continually, tell your children individually they are loved, valued and respected by you; say how proud you are, not because of grades or accomplishments, but just because of who they are. (Brooks: “I know.”)
12. Dads, put down your phone when you are with your kids and instead, notice them!
13. APP.: Fathers, are you providing for your children physically and emotionally?

A father is also responsible to be his child’s…

B. 2. Protector. (Psalm 121; Matthew 10:29-31; 18:10; John 17:9-11)

1. Psalm 121:7-8 (NLT)—⁷ The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. ⁸ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.
2. We rely on God to protect our children when we can’t be present or aren’t aware of some danger they encounter. (Pray regularly!)
3. Relying on God doesn’t release us from responsibility for our part, but trusting Him prevents us from feeling overwhelmed by the challenge.
4. Knowing God and grasping the guidance of His Word, enables us to know when and even how to intervene to shield our offspring from harm.
5. You can’t protect a child from everything harmful in this world, but you try and you can certainly limit their access to damaging influences.
6. These potentially negative influences include media that exposes (indoctrinates?) your children to subjects that are too mature for them and values that conflict with yours.
7. You may not be able to eliminate everything harmful from all media sources (even some animated cartoons are questionable), but you can be vigilant, alert, attentive and discuss troublesome topics when they arise.
8. Some help: VidAngel App subscription service filters content on streaming services.
9. Your son or daughter may become irritated with you when you disallow something they want to do, but eventually, your intrusion will communicate your values and your concern for your child. (You’re their protector, not their best friend!)
10. Protecting your child may include ending friendships that are influencing your children to develop habits, behaviors and interests you don’t approve of.
11. ILL.: We did pick up our daughters from spend-the-night parties when the movie that was to be the entertainment of the evening was too mature for our children.
12. You determine who your children hang out with, where they go, what they watch and especially when and whom they date. (age 16 for us)
13. APP.: Dads, do you protect your children from harmful influences—both content and people—even though it irritates your children?

Dads, we must be our children’s…

C. 3. Preparer. (Psalm 103:13; Proverbs 3:11-12; 4:1-5; 22:6; Colossians 3:21)

1. We must enable our children to survive, rather, to succeed, to thrive, in this world.
2. Proverbs 4:1-2 (NLT)— ¹ My children, listen when your father corrects you. Pay attention and learn good judgment, ² for I am giving you good guidance. Don’t turn away from my instructions.
3. We must offer direction and discipline to prepare children for living in our culture.
4. We must be sure that we direct positively.
5. Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)— Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
6. Help your child develop the unique gifts and strengths given to him or her by God.
7. Give them focused time to help them grow and develop, but make sure you are expressing interest in them, so avoid being focused on accomplishments.
8. Develop your children’s character, influence them to live honestly, respect authority, avoid gossip, work with integrity, refuse using excuses or blaming others for failures.
9. Don’t do everything for your child; let him/her sign up for camp, make reservations at restaurants, write thank-you notes, get their oil changed, fill out college applications.
10. Avoid indulging (spoiling) your children; let them earn some of what they receive.
11. Another part of preparing a child for life is by disciplining patiently.
12. Proverbs 3:12 (NLT)— For the Lord corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. [Hebrews 12:7-10]
13. Discipline is an expression of love and concern to help children learn to respond appropriately, respectfully, thoughtfully, in situations they encounter.
14. Allow your children to feel the consequences of their bad decisions; in other words, don’t write their papers (computers), pay their fines or bail them out of their mistakes.
15. Correction must be conducted patiently, wisely, while under control, never in anger or out of frustration, used to punish defiance, not mere childish irresponsibility.
16. We must be emotionally connected to the child we discipline; otherwise, rules enforced without relationship will produce rebellion!
17. APP.: Dads, do you direct positively and discipline patiently to prepare your children?

Another important task, with eternal implications is to be your children’s…

D. 4. Pastor. (Deuteronomy 4:9; 6:5-7; Ephesians 6:4; 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12; 3 John 4)

1. Fathers have the responsibility and privilege of guiding their children’s spiritual growth.
2. 1 Thessalonians 2:11–12 (NLT)— ¹¹ And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. ¹² We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For He called you to share in His Kingdom and glory.
3. You might say, “I don’t want that duty. I’m not qualified. I’m not a pastor!”
4. But you are! “Pastor” simply means, “shepherd” and you definitely feed, lead and tend the flock you call your “family.”
5. Spiritual guidance is more important than any other influence you can have on your children; it directs their lives on earth and determines their eternal existence in heaven!
6. Fathers (really both parents) have more influence on their children’s attitudes toward faith and God than anyone else (including student pastors and volunteers).
7. Your children will discern what you truly believe and value by what you say and do.
8. What are you communicating about how you view God and faith to your kids?
9. Stern, rule-driven faith is not attractive to children, but authentic, practical faith that permeates your life and influences your actions will be observed and copied by them.
10. “I don’t know what to say to my children about spiritual matters.” Just tell them your story; let them hear how God has intervened in our life. (They know and love you!)
11. Begin by offering thanks to God at meals, then include your kids in prayers about important decisions or special concerns, and discuss with them what God might want from your family in situations that arise.
12. Demonstrate to your children how to grow in their faith through spiritual practices: reading the Bible, praying, giving, serving, involvement at church and in a small group.
13. Raising children who love God is not an easy assignment in our culture; we will help.
14. APP.: Fathers, would you like to take a step toward being a family pastor for your children? Our pastors, staff and volunteers will help and so will God! (Please stand!)

• Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)— Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.